I watched some TV and then decided to listen to my answering machine messages. I had the usual,
Message 1: Creditor hang-up
Message 2: Creditor- please call...
Message 4: Dad- call me back
Message three was actually Ryan! I was so shocked to hear him leave a message since he says he never leaves messages. That made me smile. But from all the other usual doom (not that Dad's message was usual or doom-filled... sorry about that Dad), the smile was only temporary.

I got a call from the cable company telling me that they were going to turn off my cable if I didn't pay the past due amount. I told them that I didn't have any money and they seemed polite, but since I wasn't in the mood to deal with them, it didn't help my mood any. So, I ask why they would send me a bill and a notice of disconnection, but no date to pay them by. Why no deadline? If I don't get a deadline, I tend to put things off until it gets to be a bother. She told me that the reason for no deadline, is because it was so far past due that it was due immediately. What a dumb answer. She totally didn't answer me logically. That's not a reason for not telling a person when they are going to disconnect, is it?

After that, I decided to open my mail from yesterday. I started with an envelope from the city (I never got one before, so I was curious). I found that it was a letter telling me that I had to get my car off the lawn because it's for landscaping, and whatnot. Blah, blah. Why make it so fancy?! Anyways, without giving a deadline for removal, it said the property (meaning the car) will be ticketed if not removed. Well... when do they want it moved by? huh? Huh? HUH?!

So I call the number listed. I get voicemail. I redirect the call, and get another voicemail. Damn automation. Why aren't they around before 4 pm?! I know it's the government and all, but christ, that's rediculous. So I start getting upset about how I can't get a break. I just wanted to tell them that I would have the car moved tomorrow, so don't ticket it. But no... I can't even get a real person on the phone. I hate using the phone nowadays because of all the creditors harassing me. Bastards! They have it in their notes that I don't have any money and that I don't have any future money rolling in, why do they have to make my life more miserable by using the phone to harass me?! Anyone out there have an answer, I'd love to hear it.

I was just so angry, upset, frustrated, depressed, hopeless, alone. So many things, but none of them good. I screamed at the top of my lungs, yelling at how evil the world is for basing it on money. Screaming just to scream. Getting anger out. Why be harassing me? That makes the person feel worse, not better. It's the same as nagging. The more a person nags a second person, the more the second person drags their heels and doesn't do anything. Shouldn't the creditors be saying things like, "Oh, I have read the past notes and realize you don't have any money. Do you know when you might have some in the future so I can note that?" Instead of, (read in a thick annoying accent of your choosing), "Ma'am, your account shows you are past due. Can you make a payment of AFUCKINGHUGEAMOUNT today so I can continue to harass you until you get your account under the limit and I can bend over and have you kiss my ass?" Okay, okay, maybe they don't say that, but it sure feels like that .... each and everytime. They are so rude and could care less if they make a person feel like shit for the rest of the day.

Screaming some more, I throw down the rest of the mail and storm into the bathroom to wipe up my tears. I sit down in exhaustion/frustration on the toilet. Maxine takes that opportunity to come in the room and get petted. Leave it to a pet to make you forget your worries (if only for a brief moment). And then she left.

I hopped online, knowing I didn't want to leave my phone line open for more creditors to harass. I was really hoping I'd catch Ryan online. But... he wasn't.

I frowned, but as I opened my email, I saw a message from some place trying to sell me something. Ahh... Does it never stop?! I open the email and it's all "click here" to opt-out... and again at the end "click" if you want to remove your name.... blah blah. I don't have a CLICK button showing. No URL listed. Nothing. Damn those bastards. So I reply to the message and tell them that I don't want to be spammed. (I never give out this email to anyone that might sell my name).

I open the inbox again and realize in my mad craze to get rid of junk email, I missed seeing a message from Ryan! Yippee!

I read it, and I smile. I start writing back, telling him (just about all of this entry but a little less detail) and then he shows up online! Good. I tie up my phone line so harassers (oops, I mean creditors) can't call AND I get to chat with Ryan. This day is turning around already.

I chit-chat a bit. Starting to smile again, I notice Tierna wakes up. She's so cute, I can't help but go ga-ga over her. And she was doing the little prairie dog stance. How can a person not think that's cute? Seriously, who can resist that cuteness? Again, if you know someone that can, please tell me so I can put them to the test of The World's Cutest Rat, Tierna. (Need I remind you that her name is Mexican Spanish for cute?)

So, after awhile I noticed that I was in a tad better mood. Then Mom popped online telling me that she'd been trying to call. We decided that we wouldn't get together tonight, because she'd had a long day at work, and I wasn't in the best of moods. That's okay though. I don't want to get sick of her! hehe

Mom got back offline, and I continued to talk to Ryan. I was feeling much better about everything and I realized a very valuable lesson today: Friends are good for more than just one thing. They aren't just someone to spend time with, they are someone that cares about you, and doesn't force you to feel better... it just happens when you're around them (or in this case, ICQing them).

Carisa