Then I couldn't seem to get anything productive done all day. In fact, I didn't even shower. The dishes are piled up (since I've been home, I haven't done them...that's 2 weeks worth). I got a phone call from Chase MasterCard asking if I've been getting my statements, because I have a delinquent (sp?) account. Well, if I had money, I would pay them! Dumb fucks! No! I really want bad credit and I'm just saving up for filing bankrupcy! What the fuck!

Ok. Sorry about the venting. I had to walk away and now I'm back.

Just now, I nearly blew up at Maxine for pooping on the rug instead of the toilet (cause she's done it twice now, so she knows she gets rewards for pooping in the toilet), but I restrained myself. I don't know how. This is too much. Too much lately. Too much.

I knew it would get bad if I didn't have an income, but I didn't think that it would depress me this much more. I know that I am not doing great right now, but having the stress of knowing I have bills and thousands and thousands of dollars of debt and knowing I can't hold my sanity enough for a job makes my future look very bleak.

Earlier today, I thought about what I had imagined my future to be like. I wanted to finish college (by no means graduating brainiac-of-the-year or anything, just graduate), and be married by 24. Oops! I know I'm not gonna graduate, and I haven't even met anyone new in almost a year! I'm getting more and more pathetic.

Damn! I wrote a lot in some emails and now I'm sick of typing. Besides, I'm just depressing myself more. pooey.

Just a bad day all around. Oh yeah, one last thing. The paper in the register at Wal-mart today ran out and I had to wait to get a stinking receipt forever. I almost missed Buffy! Grr... Argh... (anyone get it?)

Carisa