I know the price you pay for having pets is that they die before you do, but it never makes it easier when you know the end is near. Last night, I found a lump on Tierna's side. It was kinda squishy. I tried to see how big it was... a little larger than a pea. Visible when she's holding still. So sad.

A few weeks ago, Tierna turned 2 years old. That's about middle age for a domestic rat. That's about the end of the life of a street rat. That's about the time I noticed that she wasn't fitting into her skin as well. That's about the time that I noticed she doesn't squirm as much upon getting picked up out of her cage... she just doesn't have the same elasticisty (sp?) that she used to have a year ago. She still jumps up on top of her box in her cage to see what's going on, but she doesn't try jumping up to the rim of the aquarium much anymore. Must be that she's fallen a few times trying lately.

My baby is dying.

Other bad news... Maxine was fine on Monday, so I didn't think anything of it. Yesterday, she had some loose stool. This morning she threw up what Ryan described as a stick that looked like poop. I don't know what's wrong with her, but her stool was even looser after she threw up. She went to the bathroom yet another time today. That makes me nervous.

The only other thing that I can think of that's making her sick is her canned cat food is spoiling or something. I think I will try avoiding giving her any for a few days (she'll be cranky with me, but I can give her treats, I suppose as a weak replacement) and I'll see if that improves anything.

If not, I have to figure out a way to get Maxine to the vet. There is one about 4 blocks from here, so I either carry her with a leash on, or put her in her carrier and awkwardly walk to the vets. And then there's the lump with Tierna... how do I take care of her? Everytime I look at her or think about her, I start crying.

I have research to do today to find out what the lump might be and if I can find a vet to take her into as well. Oh, I'm sad.

Carisa