Today I walked over to Mom's house, so I could take Penny for a walk. (She loves going for walks. I figured it was the least I could do). Mom didn't go to swim class, she decided that she would stay home and pig out with Penny.
I walked in, and asked if Penny wanted to go for a walk. She tilted her head and jumped around a bit on the couch. She got so excited. Such a simple thing. A walk. I walked over there so she and I could go for a walk. Irony. I think.
I didn't care if Penny pooped on other people's lawns. It wouldn't really matter, now would it? I figured she's a tad out of shape, so just going around the block would probably be sufficient.
It was probably the coolest day of the summer thus-far today, so it was ideal walking-the-dog weather. Penny was tired out about half-way around the block! She was panting and wheezing. I knew she was out of shape, but geez.
So, as I walked with her, I cried. Thinking about how she had no clue. No clue she's going to be put to her death tomorrow. Mom told me that she's taking Penny to the bank tomorrow before the vet's office, so Penny can get her last bank ride. (She loves the bank because she gets a dog treat. She thinks everything car ride will be as good as a bank trip.)
Upon getting back to Mom's house, Penny flopped down on the floor and was panting quite heavily. I asked if I could give Penny some canned food. Even if she doesn't get the entire can of food, the cats will eat the rest. Teek isn't picky. Mikey thinks he wants what everyone else is having. So... either way, the cats would be able to finish it.
Mom agreed. And told me to give her one of the smaller cans. (Not those cat food sized ones, but not as big as the regular Pedigree size). I walked to the kitchen and Penny just KNEW. She KNEW she was getting more "treats".
The cats were swarming when I got out a can. (They think every single can of food is for them, regardless of the size. -- They only get the small size, ya know. And very rarely at that.) Penny was directly underfoot. No need to tell her to get out of the kitchen. No need to discipline her anymore. It doesn't matter. :(
After getting the can open, and putting the food onto a plate and in two bowls, I set the plate and small bowl down for the cats. Penny was pulling her hardest to get to those tasty morsels. I held her back by her collar, and showed her her portion.
She didn't even hesitate! She woofed the food in her mouth so fast that I don't think she even tasted it! I yelled to Mom that Penny was slobbing down her food so fast that she probably didn't taste it.
Teek proceeded to lick up the gravy on her plate, while Mikey sniffed his bowl and turned his nose up until he saw Teek licking her plate. He sniffed her plate, sniffed his bowl, sniffed her plate again and decided that she had the same thing as him, and he didn't want either. He sat there and watched Teek eat hers and Penny inhale hers.
Penny was done and had her large bowl cleaned off before Teek even realized there were meat portions on her plate. Penny went to go get the cats' portions, but I held her back. I told her she could have more. I spooned out a little more gravy and meat chunks. She barely even let me finish taking the spoon back out of her bowl before she took her second deep breath of food!
Teek moved on to Mikey's bowl.
Penny finished her bowl again. I grabbed Teek's plate (that still had meat on it, but no gravy) and let Penny have the meat.
After rinsing the bowls and plate, Penny figured she probably wasn't getting anymore food. I surprised her by letting her lick off the spoon. Her big slobby tongue flung more of it around the kitchen than in her mouth. (I'm trying to smile, but having a very difficult time).
After looking up a picture of two of Penny on Mom's computer (to compare how much she aged since Mom got her), I decided I had to go home. I couldn't be there anymore. It was just too depressing for me.
As I pet Penny's head one last time, I was tempted to kiss it. But I couldn't bring myself to do that. (Especially since she had slobbed so much that food was flung on her head). I turned and walked home.
I didn't cry on the walk home. I walked into my apartment, and Maxine was super happy to see me! It was a little over an hour that I was gone, and she was acting like I'd left her a day! I'm glad that I still have her around. She doesn't like being held, but I held her anyways. I cried.
I don't want to ever go against my morals and put an animal to sleep just because it's become "inconvient" to me.
I don't care how much money a pet would cost me in medical bills and special food and medicines, I wouldn't give up on it. That's just cruel.
To end this entry without saying I've had more than 10 minutes of dry eyes today would be a lie, a travesty, a.... something else I can't think of the word for... I don't like days like today.
Carisa
Happy idea for today:
not happy today
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