Instead, I missed the bus. It went whizzing by as I was jogging to the bus stop. Dammit! I guess that means I have to walk. I started to cry. It was so cold that the tears on my face nearly froze to it. It was so windy. It was below zero with the wind. It felt like I was being blinded by the sun, pounded by the wind and frozen by the temperature. It was not a fun walk.
I finally got downtown, to the building that I had gone to before about food stamp matters. I guess I just assumed it was in the same building, but I was wrong. I had another 5 or 6 blocks to walk!!! No! I couldn't feel my face, my hands, my legs, my ears. I couldn't possibly warm up fast enough to go outside and face those frigid temps again.
I found I was crying again when I felt a warm tear drop fall on my hand. (I had taken off my gloves while inside talking to the receptionist). She had called the number on the info sheet I had to find out if I could walk over and just show up late. It turns out I did thaw out. She was on hold for 10 minutes! I got my appointment rescheduled for Tuesday next week. I'll make sure I catch the bus that time!
So, now that I was downtown, I figured I would head into the mall or something. But after considering that for a few seconds, I decided the mall was too far away. I didn't want to backtrack now. I sat down for a bit, figuring out how far away the library was. It was only about 3 or 4 blocks away. I figured I could pay another visit to the library.
Still not being able to feel my thighs, I dragged myself to the library. I ended up miscalculating where it was! So I ended up walking 2 extra blocks to get there! Oops! By now, my face was frozen again, and I just wanted to rest. Sit near a heater and rest.
I walked in the doors near the videos and multimedia section. I had seen someone last time with a modern movie. I figured it wouldn't hurt to take a peek at what they had. It's free entertainment afterall, even if it is on VHS. I found that they also had a few DVDs; not many, but they probably just started collecting them. I saw a few classic movies. Ya know, Marilyn Monroe movies, Fred Astaire, that sorta thing.
I meandered a bit. I found that they had tons and tons of videos on travel locations. Just about any place under the sun that people have traveled to was there. I started looking for Mexico, figuring I could revisit my past through a video. But they didn't have El Tajín in any of the videos, so I was kinda disappointed. But I just figured that meant that I would find something more fun... something that might be useful. And I found just that. A cat video.
I know a lot about cats, but I wanted to see if there was something I've forgotten or just need refreshing on. Okay, okay. It's not the helpful thing I found, it was just interesting to me! :)
I found a video about career searching. How to pick what you want. That sorta thing. I don't know if it'll actually help me or just end up telling me what I already know, but either way, I'm making the effort. That has to stand for something. A mere six months ago, I couldn't even think that! I couldn't even imagine getting a job, let alone searching for one! So, I've come a long way.
Then after the informational video area, I wandered back to the entertainment videos. I was just skimming the area. It wasn't that full, so I wasn't expecting to see a great find. But I did! I found "Real Genius." Ryan and I had just been talking about that movie. I had said I wanted to see it again! So, when I saw it sitting on the shelf, I nabbed it quicker than someone who's a frequent shop-lifter! Heheh... ahh, my crazy analogies.
After the video area, I just sat down. I took off my hat and just rested. It felt so good to sit. Ahhh... I am just recalling the ease and comfort it brought me. :) So... anyways, I've deviated again. Surprise, surprise.
I went to the electronic card catalog and looked up some books. I ended up heading upstairs, wandering the aisles and sitting down... on the floor this time. Just plopped down, reading the backs of a few books in one section. I found a book that I had seen in book stores awhile ago that I thought I would like to read. I picked it up. It's about 250 pages or so. I figured I could read it in a month's time.
I wandered to the next call number. I found that book immediately. I don't know if it just stuck out to me, or if my eyes just happened to be at the right spot. I just felt like a library pro! hehe So, I grabbed a thing book just to skim through. It was kinda interesting. I mostly looked for the bold headings and read whatever I thought might be of interest. I read the captions, and found that the book started to repeat itself, so I put it back.
I finally felt that my legs were all thawed out and I could walk myself to the bus depot. I checked out my books and videos and headed home. Upon getting home, I sat down on the couch with that first book, entitled As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Girl. I read and read and read.
I don't remember that last time that I was able to focus that much on one thing for that amount of time. I read until there was no more daylight! I turned on the living room light, but it's too dim to read by, so I decided that I needed to make supper.
After dinner, I watched some TV. I saw the book sitting on the coffee table the entire time. I kept wanting to pick it up and read more, but I knew I'd be straining my eyes if I read in the light of the living room. I couldn't believe it! Me?! Reading?! Wanting to read?! A book?!
I mean, I got my Maxim in the mail today, but I didn't want to read that! What the hell?! This is so shocking! I'm changing... but in a good way, I think. Let's thank Ryan, everyone. Say it with me, "Thanks, Ryan".
Carisa